‘Supersocial’ and Finding Balance

It seems to me that more and more lately it’s become de rigueur to speak negatively of a behavior that I (and probably some of you) partake in regularly. That behavior is checking ones phone for messages, checking Twitter, Facebook, etc. Apparently some people don’t like it and even take offense to it if it’s done while in their presence.

Well to this I say, get over yourself.

Why do I take this attitude? It’s really simple. At least to me. I consider personal interactions IRL (in real life) to be very important, but why should I consider interactions that are virtual any less important? If I’m in a group of people and there is a lull in the conversation and I get out my phone to check Twitter, I could just as easily look over (outside of the group I’m in) and see “Jim” who I haven’t seen in awhile but would like to say hello to and maybe have a word with. This is of course very much socially acceptable. In fact it’s what parties are often all about. Meeting new people and saying hello to old friends. I would just like to make the point that checking for messages on any number of virtual social networks on my phone is no different. At least to me.

Today Microsoft announced their new Windows Phone 7 mobile operating system and a number of phones to be released that will run the OS. In doing so, they debuted this very cool commercial, which I actually like a lot, to hype the products.



“It’s time for a phone to save us from our phones.” is the tagline. It’s now Microsoft against the world (of cell phone manufacturers). Microsoft the Underdog. Wow. Who’da thunk it 10 years ago, right?!

But I digress. Back to my point. Our phones are not the problem. We are the problem. We must find balance. Many (Most? All?) of the people in the Microsoft commercial are acting stupidly and it’s funny. We laugh. But I also think we’ve all probably been a little stupid from time to time. Texting while driving. “Backgrounding” (as my brother and I like to jokingly call it) someone when you’re trying to multitask during a conversation. Walking with our attention on our phone when we could possibly run into someone or worse walk into a street. I’ve done the above (not walked into anyone or a street - yet) and I’ve even been on my phone while using the restroom. (Yep, I said it.) But I haven’t dropped my precious iPhone into a urinal or toilet. Yet. I’m very careful ;-)

However, I don’t behave like this much anymore. I’ve realized, like many of you I’m sure, that texting while driving is really stupid and not worth risking lives. The message can wait. If it can’t, pull over. Now.

So, we need a little balance. When I got to a destination earlier tonight for dinner, I checked in via Facebook Places and Foursquare before I ever walked in the door of the restaurant. As I sat down, I checked various social networks as people were beginning to show up and be seated. By the time everyone was seated and conversations being struck up, I was done and I was there. There, there. I was present in the moment. Socializing with friends and coworkers.

I did however pull out my phone a few times during the meal (again during lulls in the conversations). I try to keep some sense of balance and etiquette. To me, this is the “new etiquette”.

We as human beings continue to evolve physically, mentally and yes, socially. Our etiquette continues to evolve (or devolve if you like) as well. Now this may be a singular swing in the pendulum of life and we may be due for a swing back the other way. Who really knows?

I consider myself to be an introvert. Believe it or not. If you’ve met me in person and know just how sociable I am, you may find that hard to believe, but it’s very true. I love nothing more than to come home and relax. By myself. I really enjoy my alone time. It charges my batteries, so-to-speak. But I also do enjoy time with friends. So I have some extrovert tendencies but I really have to challenge myself. It’s gotten easier, but I’ve gotten better at it with practice. So as introverted as I am, I consider myself to actually be “Supersocial” and while I didn’t coin the term (see the image of a tweet below from my friend Melissa) I believe it describes me quite aptly. I am sociable on my terms, in my own time. That’s my balance.

In closing I’ll say that while I truly love my phone (you have no idea how much) I have found a balance that works well for me and I continue to refine it. But it takes practice for sure.